Allow the love you have in mind to others

I love you, but I have Pei Rong was ... ..."



Let Pei Rong heard, she will be sad, right?

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But we also can not stop his heart to steal it.



One netizen wrote on her blog. (Reporters Note: The first sentence is the movie "Painted Skin" lines)



Yes ah, love hearts to others, who can control got it? It relies entirely on the personal self-discipline to do ah.



"Separation of men and women you love and not his / her only"



If you let the spouse know that it will not affect marriage?



Eiko delicate and charming to tell their own story: "I thought my husband love me a man, but that we have to travel at night in bed, he had suddenly conjured another name softly, I know, it was his former girlfriend's English name. I did not hear as he soon realized his gaffe and immediately, and I chatted about other topics. This happened, I found nothing, although pretending to be in my mind from time to time a voice said: 'He has not forgotten her, he was still thinking about her!' Although my husband and I that did not have to sign separately, but when I think of what happened that night, I felt very painful. " Eiko said, not that two people love each other wholly owned, completely loyal to it? All my heart to you, why your heart, someone else? Not understand the British child of the marriage began to swing, she asked reporters: "I'm not too naive of marriage?"



Not only women will encounter this problem. In the interview, many men said that there is another spouse of heart. A East is one of them, "One day, I called her, she said did not want to go out, just stay at home. That is her ex-boyfriend's birthday, the former boyfriend to go abroad, I know, she is like through this way to accompany former boyfriend birthday in the heart. "hero story-telling tone of sadness, he told reporters that he and his wife just knew this person when dealing existence. "But the longer I am more sad, her heart has always been a place that belonged to him, it makes me like a fishbone stuck in my throat!" A-East, said he believed his wife's man, and believe they are stable marriage, but he could hardly stop to find it difficult to be very hard to accept.



With the development of pluralistic society, it is individuality, it is the requirement of marriage has become more tolerant. If the time flow of twenty-thirty years back, "my heart there is other people" just "crime can not be forgiven," a glance right and wrong, when no one understands and accepts the marriage in his heart there are people, and therefore even if someone ever so others will carefully hidden or she did not admit, but now, in love of men and women are no longer conceal such feelings can be generous to the wife admitted that you can honestly put this issue on the table discussion.



Born in the late 70s of last century the small Qin's view is: "'Do you allow someone you love have in mind' is simply not a problem, in fact you did not 'permit does not allow' power, because it is entirely the other side of mental activity You simply can not control. you can do is after you know can not accept it. So, this proposition should be, 'You can accept the love you have in mind to others'. "



In her view, as long as these feelings do not affect the lives of two people no problem. Interviewed young people around the age of 30 support the view that: If the spouse not to know that it will not affect the marriage, does not affect the marriage would be no problem. Some people even said there is another person in mind, in fact, marriage is good, you can get spiritual satisfaction outside the marriage to gain power and then turn it practical to live after. For the "feelings that should be fully committed to each other" was, some people think too naive.



"Environmental changes, and human nature will not change"

Clearly, times have changed, people's views have undergone enormous changes. The underlying cause is also very complex. A professional sociological research have pointed out that the previous society, people are so simple to work in a unit for decades, decades, and a person's life, we are so over, no one who feel bad, but now , dramatic social change, may be exactly the same as three years ago, two people may be worlds apart after three years, to succeed, people from this city to that city, from the industry to that industry, more and more by the lure of These are people of certain aspects of the more fully exposed. However, this sociological study emphasized that: "Although the environment has changed, resulting in expansion of people to material things, self-weakening of moral restraint, but actually change the environment then, human nature is not going to change, no matter how diverse cultural emphasis, but The total should have a mainstream value system worthy of praise, on this issue, is the treatment of marital fidelity, not only physically but also mentally. "



"Maintain the marriage, the most important of tolerance and accommodation"

Many people confused: When love hearts to others, you are lucky the other side of the heart, although there are others, but chose their own? The other choice is his angry, but my mind was someone else? The problem seems no one can give the answer, in fact, the answer completely on your own heart. A study of nearly 30 years of education, morality and ethics expert, said in an interview: "This is entirely up to you is not really love each other. If you really love each other, pretend that you do not know anything better, You kept everything inside and better. "



The ethics experts say, into the marriage prior to that marriage is not perfect. As the old saying goes, "real beauty, Fang omissions." Visible in this world have never had the perfect thing. When you accept all this, it will become very calm. With "moderate" way deal with marital problems, people would not extreme, not a dead end.



He said that maintaining a marriage is not love, but the wisdom, tolerance and accommodation. Wise person, you can turn the tide, with their own thoughts and wisdom to love slowly back to his side, while accepting the other's not perfect, tolerance and accommodation to help with the marriage and move on. Not enough for the wisdom and tolerance and people, obviously this process is very painful, you need to learn self-regulation, self-digestion.